No More Mr. Nice Guy
by Robert A. Glover, Robert Glover · first published 2001
79% recommend16% neutral5% critical
Why HN recommends it
Self-help for men who people-please and never get what they want; teaches assertiveness, boundaries, and asking what you want. Readers say it helped with confidence, relationships, and even management at work.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
Debunks the "nice guy syndrome," the need to please others at one's own expense with the hope of receiving happiness, love, and fulfillment, and offers advice for how to rediscover oneself, revive one's sex life, and build better relationships with others.
Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
Related books
2012–2024Models
Mark Manson
Recommended by 23 · mentioned by 2523 recommend · 25 mention23 recommend · 2523 recommend
2011–2026When I say no, I feel guilty
Manuel J. Smith
Recommended by 13 · mentioned by 1713 recommend · 17 mention13 recommend · 1713 recommend
2007–2022The way of the superior man
David Deida
Recommended by 17 · mentioned by 2317 recommend · 23 mention17 recommend · 2317 recommend
2022–2026Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Nedra Glover Tawwab
Recommended by 3 · mentioned by 33 recommend · 3 mention3 recommend · 33 recommend
2020–2022She Comes First
Ian Kerner
Recommended by 3 · mentioned by 33 recommend · 3 mention3 recommend · 33 recommend
2017–2022The wisdom of no escape
Pema Chödrön
Recommended by 3 · mentioned by 33 recommend · 3 mention3 recommend · 33 recommend
2012–2021Screw It, Let's Do It
Richard Branson
Recommended by 3 · mentioned by 43 recommend · 4 mention3 recommend · 43 recommend
…boost your manly power and confidence, especially with other Men? I'm not looking for stuff like sky-diving or crazy risk takings. Really appreciate any advice, or books/articles recommendations (e.g. No more mr Nice Guy, by Robert A. Glover) Thanks
on “Ask HN: How to become a more powerful man?” ↗I am an introvert male and one book that really helped me be assertive, certain, spontaneous, and happy in the social arena is "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Highly recommended! http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 I have the audiobook version and it's one of few audiobooks that I've listened to more than once. I also…
on “The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance” ↗Book recommendations in that respect: - "No more Mr. Nice Guy" Robert A. Glover: A great book on identification and elimination of nice guy behaviors with lots of exercises. - "When I say no I feel guilty" Manuel J. Smith: Techniques with lots of examples on how…
on “How to say no, for the people pleaser who always says yes” ↗Good reading to become a mature (ie not just childish) anti-authoritarian: "Prometheus Rising" by Robert Anton Wilson and "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. I would also throw in "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" by Robert Moore, and maybe an occasional dose of LessWrong.com (helps to know of cognitive bias pitfalls if one wants to dance…
on “Why Anti-Authoritarians are Diagnosed as Mentally Ill” ↗…tend to have more people (especially male) who struggle with socialising with others and romance on top of every other part of the human condition. To that end, I recommend (in order): Robert Glover - No More Mr. Nice Guy Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Mark Manson - Models For those looking into reading into masculinity (to understand yourself or other masculine people: David Deida - The Way of the…
on “Ask HN: What was a book that changed your life?” ↗Practical skills are easily acquired. Personal skills and greater self-awareness are what really fast-track you. 1) Scott Adams 'How to fail at almost everything' for life strategy. 2) Robert Glover's 'No more Mr Nice Guy' for assertiveness and being your authentic self no matter what. 3) As cliche as it is, 'The Power of Now' is a great source to return to in times of personal and professional woes. Good luck and Godspeed…
on “Ask HN: What three books impacted your career the most?” ↗…course, maybe it's all different for you. I mean that. I'm only suggesting something to check. Have a look at the material under "Nice Guy Syndrome" by Dr. Robert Glover. [1] Maybe get his audio book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and listen to it for a bit, and see how well it fits or does not fit your situation. [1] https://drglover.com
on “On Aging Alone (2021)” ↗I would recommend reading: https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 You can ignore the women part, but the author touches on some of the reasons people act like you act and how to change.
on “Ask HN: How do I stop being used?” ↗…argument, even though gender has nothing to do with whether people bring value. Again, the software engineer Dan is not a more valuable person than customer support Jan. If you don't get this difference, read No More Mr. Nice Guy or The Way of the Superior Man. The titles are somewhat of a misnomer; I suppose women will gain just as much value from those books. This is a total shot in the dark, but female engineers are probably…
on “Massachusetts Bans Employers from Asking Applicants About Previous Pay” ↗There's a lot of different ones of course... off the top of my head: No more Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover. I also like Personal development for smart people by Steve Pavlina. Tom Butler-Bowdon has a series of books that summarize all the major works in psychology/self help/prosperity/success/etc.…
on “Rich Dad Poor Dad... Worst Personal Finance Book of All Time?” ↗I just read No More Mr Nice Guy[1] and recommend it. I rarely agree 100% with everything in a book, and 90% of this book was spot-on for me. I'll try to summarize some of the advice from the book. * "Nice Guys" are pushovers because…
on “Ask HN: Becoming more confident?” ↗…will fall together. Suddenly you will become desirable once you do that and get rid of bad habits like needy behavior. I would suggest focus on health as well and do some lifting and read the book "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover and look for references on the web.
on “On Marrying the Wrong Person” ↗The book that I should have read (and re-read) earlier: No more Mr. Nice Guy -- Robert Glover
on “Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?” ↗If a "life-shattering crisis that completely wrecked my world view" means a breakup definitely read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" from Robert Glover.
on “Ask HN: Which books have made you introspect?” ↗Without doubt I would start with: 'No more Mr. nice guy' -- Robert Glover
on “Improving Ourselves to Death” ↗