Leadership and Self Deception
by The Arbinger Institute, Dick Ruhe · first published 2000
77% recommend23% neutral
Why HN recommends it
A parable-style look at how self-deception and treating others as objects damage working relationships. It sharpens self-awareness and empathy, making it suited to managers and anyone dealing with difficult people.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
This phenomenal bestseller * over 700,000 copies sold * changes readers? lives and helps them transform their organizations. In this new edition, the text has been updated and revised throughout to make it even more readable and powerful and a new section has been added that details the many different ways that people are using the book.
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Yay for The Untethered Soul. I would add: Adversaries into Allies: Master the Art of Ultimate Influence Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box Rejection Proof: 100 Days of Rejection, or How to Ask Anything of Anyone at Anytime Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen The Surrender Experiment:…
on “YC’s 2018 Summer Reading List” ↗The Anatomy of Peace Leadership and Self Deception Crucial Conversations
on “Ask HN: What books do you recommend reading once a year?” ↗If you have tried to build a business and failed then read “The Anatomy of Peace” or “Leadership and Self Deception” same writer, same message. If you have build a business and want to do it even better, then “Principles” by Ray Dalio Both are about mindset and worldview - something I am learning now is much more…
on “Ask HN: As a technical founder what is the best business book you've read?” ↗A wonderful book that is similar in concept to this post is "Leadership and Self-Deception". I think the first part of the book: "Self-deception and the Box" is what Derek is describing here and he's working on getting out of the box.
on “Everything is my fault” ↗This reminds me of the self awareness tools codified by the Arbinger Institute in their book, Leadership and Self Deception, where they describe how to "get out of the box." I also highly recommend The Anatomy of Peace by them.
on “Don’t let your anger persist” ↗I would recommend these two books that will give you the people and communication skills that is paramount to suceed as a manager. It is those books I have learned most from and helped me the most. Leadership and Self Deception And Crucial Comversations
on “Ask HN: Going from Developer to Manager. What should I know or learn?” ↗…any point I was ever given advice in the past. I've also been through a little bit of management training... The Arbinger Institute books (been through 2) have been pretty good in this regard too. "Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of The Box" as well as "The Outward Mindset"
on “Ask HN: How to deal with a senior colleague who acts like he's boss?” ↗Anatomy of Peace and Leadership and Self-deception profoundly impacted how I understand others when behaving irrationally.
on “Ask HN: What are some deep, mentality changing books?” ↗Anatomy of Peace and Leadership and Self Deception by the Arbinger institute. If you read it and it doesn’t change your life you ping me and I will refund you the money you paid for it.
on “Ask HN: How do I develop skills to comfort people and offer compassion?” ↗…to approach people skills. If you only see others as objects who can either help or hinder you get what you want, its going to catch up sooner or later. Maybe its better to work on developing empathy? Leadership and Self Deception is a decent book on people skills that really emphasizes this approach.
on “Ask HN: How to build F-You Skills” ↗The book that changed the game for me is “Leadership and Self-Deception”. The thesis being that the root of resentment is self-betrayal, where self-betrayal is denying your impulse to do right by others. Ever since I read it, I’ve been more aware of when I am fixated on…
on “The Self-Help Trap: What 20 Years of "Optimizing" Has Taught Me” ↗Actual titles: Leadership and Self-Deception and Crucial Conversations.
on “Ask HN: What are the books you wish your colleagues had read?” ↗…Overload You'll have to elaborate, what are extravagant pleasures for you? I seek adrenaline. 5. Intolerance - Getting angry/emotional from events and people around. Unable to direct love on people. "Leadership and Self-deception", "Anatomy of Peace", "Daring Greatly", "Wait", Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Tara Brach, and more. have been meaningful to me. The app "Compassion Lifestyle" also did some positive stuff. And insofar as love…
on “Ask HN: Can you relate to the following issues? How did you deal with it?” ↗The writing style reminded me a lot of the book "Leadership and self-deception" (http://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-out-...) in which a guy shows up at a new job and gets a day-long welcoming from the CEO, during which they slowly go through the idea of putting…
on “I don't hire unlucky people” ↗…ways in which I can raise my children to have these benefits, without all the harms I experienced and see from organized religion. Incidentally, I just read all of the books from Arbinger Institute: Leadership and Self-Deception, The Anatomy of Peace, and The Outward Mindset. The Arbinger Institute was founded by Latter-Day Saints folks, and while I definitely register the vibes of Christian thought, they are fundamentally secular…
on “Religion as an Ego-modulator” ↗