Games People Play
by Eric Berne · first published 1964
67% recommend33% neutral
Why HN recommends it
A short, concrete introduction to transactional analysis that names recurring social games and offers a framework for reading interactions; suits people who struggle with social skills or workplace dynamics.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
Games People Play (1964) explores the fascinating and bizarre world of psychological games, where players unconsciously manipulate each other into acting in alienating and self-destructive ways.
Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
Related books
2010–2024What do you say after you say hello?
Eric Berne
Recommended by 6 · mentioned by 86 recommend · 8 mention6 recommend · 86 recommend
2011–2024The social animal
Elliot Aronson
Recommended by 6 · mentioned by 76 recommend · 7 mention6 recommend · 76 recommend
2010–2023Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus
John Gray
Recommended by 4 · mentioned by 124 recommend · 12 mention4 recommend · 124 recommend
2007–2023Language in thought and action
S. I. Hayakawa
Recommended by 13 · mentioned by 1513 recommend · 15 mention13 recommend · 1513 recommend
2010–201859 seconds
Richard Wiseman
Recommended by 13 · mentioned by 1813 recommend · 18 mention13 recommend · 1813 recommend
The years of Lyndon Johnson
Robert A. Caro
Recommended by 20 · mentioned by 2220 recommend · 22 mention20 recommend · 2220 recommend
2012–2026Mastery
Robert Greene
Recommended by 50 · mentioned by 6250 recommend · 62 mention50 recommend · 6250 recommend
2007–2026The 48 Laws of Power
Robert Greene
Recommended by 85 · mentioned by 19185 recommend · 191 mention85 recommend · 19185 recommend
If you like this line of thinking, I would suggest reading "Games People Play" [1] (also can find the original research paper if you look around for it). Basic premise is how we fall into transactional games in social settings (talking about weather, sports, etc) and acknowledging…
on “McDonald’s Theory on How Best to Rescue Conversations” ↗…learn. I would suggest this book; it's the best communication book I've ever read: http://www.amazon.com/Creating-Harmonious-Relationships-Prac... This book is also a good read: http://www.amazon.com/Games-People-Play-Transactional-Analys...
on “Welcome to HN. Please, read 'Hacker News Guidelines.' We take them seriously.” ↗…all more or less about the psychology underlying every human interaction. - How to Win Friends and Influence People (a classic by Dale Carnegie) - Meta-Talk (Gerard I. Nierenberg, Henry H. Calero) - Games People Play (Eric Berne) - What Every Body is Saying (Joe Nevarro, Marvin Karlins) - Conversationally Speaking (Alan Garner) These books provide a great foundation for anyone who needs to deal with people on a…
on “Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion” ↗…age I was at. Edit: I put together a list off the top of my head of self help books I found useful (again, at the age I was at) I'm OK – You're OK, guide to transactional analysis by Thomas Harris Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne Trances We Live by Stephen Wolinsky Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Zen and the Art of Leadership by Thomas Cleary
on “The Delusional Scam of the Self-Help Book Industry” ↗…transparency is to those people like light is to vampires. If you (or anyone else) is interested in the academic treatment of these 'games' (that is what they are called), read Eric Berne's short book "Games People Play". In the book it is explained how what you called "transparency" can be achieved by giving the player the "antithesis" to his game.
on “The 7 Habits of Highly Overrated People” ↗…reminded of the fact that psychology influences us and our craft disciplines. We're so occupied with math, algorithms and automation that this may slip our minds. There is a popular psychology book, “Games People Play” by Eric Berne that shows and explains many of those game mechanics. Everybody uses them, not just PMs and bit crunchers.
on “Software Estimation Games” ↗…being learning to deal with other people. As always, I welcome correspondence with anyone about these texts or related topics: mitchelldeacon9@gmail.com PSYCHOLOGY / SALES / MARKETING Berne, Eric (1964) Games People Play Carnegie, Dale (1981) How to Win Friends and Influence People, revised ed. Cialdini, Robert (2006) Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, revised ed. Covey, Stephen (1989) Seven Habits of Highly…
on “Ask HN: Are there any books that inspire or highly influence the way you work?” ↗…Oratoria https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institutio_Oratoria I guess there are more modern books on the subject :-) Those two are fascinating though. And "Playing Devils Advocate" reminds me of: Eric Berne, Games People Play https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book) Also I've read books about informal logic that cover different domains of writing, speech, etc.
on “Ask HN: Ontologies of Types of Thoughts?” ↗the social animal by elliot aronson games people play by eric berne MD
on “Ask HN: What's the best book on organizational behavior?” ↗…that can be modeled and learned, especially by those who are not naturally gifted with communication skills. (Some other fascinating books on this subject: Robert Cialdini's Influence and Eric Berne's Games People Play)
on “Ask HN: Getting back into the working world with a negative track record” ↗…art of possibility 5. bandler, grinder, frogs into princess 6. anthony robbins, awaken the giant within (seriously, years of study and i recommend this one) 7. ken wilber, no boundry 8. eric berne, games people play (tough read, yet its good to know) 9. robert dilts, sleight of mouth (more fun with language and messing inside your brain) 10. steave andreas, transforming your self (submodalities in action, see 1.)…
on “Ask HN: Psychology Books” ↗The Lean Startup - Too bad this wasn't around when I was starting my (now failed) startup 4 years ago. Softwar - Larry Ellison's story. Fascinating read. Games People Play - Classic by Eric Berne. Must read psychology. Short, and you will get so much out of it. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Must read psychology. Short, and you will get so much out of it. Learn You a Haskell…
on “Ask HN: Best books you read in 2012” ↗The "stroking" term comes from Games People Play, FWIW. Really interesting read.
on “Loneliness Is Deadly” ↗…business setting. Sadly, it's better to be less direct than that. Frame your questions as if you were learning rather than challenging a viewpoint (which is what you're actually doing). A book like "Games People Play" (Eric Berne) may help with this.
on “Ask HN: How do you deal with overly confident people?” ↗I can recommend Eric Berne's book "Games People Play", which covers transational analysis and shows how it builds up into lifestyle 'games' such as alcoholism, dysfunctional relationships, etc. Might be useful for online discussion forums. Just sayin. I'd…
on “Transactional analysis” ↗