The Power of a Positive No
by William Ury · first published 2007
100% recommend
No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No--to people at work, at home, and in our communities--because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us. But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That's why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone
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A book that helped me a lot in this regard: - "The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal, Save The Relationship and Still Say No" by William Ury, the Co-Founder of the Harvard Program on Negotiation
on “How to say no, for the people pleaser who always says yes” ↗…off well-meaning, but unreasonable requests from clients on a continual basis. Learning how to say "No" repeatedly without coming across as lazy or a jerk is an extremely important skill. I read "The Power of a Positive No" by William Ury (of "Getting to Yes" fame) looking for wisdom in that area. Now, I recommend it to every engineer (and manager) that I know. If everyone read Ury's books, the world would be a much happier,…
on “On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."” ↗"Saying no is so powerful and it isn't something you can easily learn and just stick with - you have to remind yourself it's OK to to say no every day" I am almost finished reading "The Power of a Positive No" by William Ury [1], and it's very good. The main idea is that because you say yes to something (e.g. having a life), it's easier to say no to something else (e.g. extra work). Well worth the read! [1]…
on “Give yourself permission to have work-life balance” ↗William Ury, of "Getting to Yes" fame, also has a book titled "The Power of a Positive No" that directly addresses your question. It should be required reading for all software developers. http://www.williamury.com/books/the-power-of-a-positive-no/ Really, if everyone on Earth read those…
on “Ask HN: Developers – How did you learn to say NO?” ↗Regarding saying no - I really like the way described in "The Power of a Positive No" by William Ury. The main idea in the book can be described as: Yes! No. Yes? When you say no to something, there is a reason. For example, you say no to working late, because you want to spend time with…
on “Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)” ↗1. The power of a positive no 2. Black box thinking 3. Difficult conversations 4. Transcending loss 5. Braving the wilderness 6. Motherless daughters 7. The happy medium 8. Deep work 9. The golden sayings of Epictetus 10. The best…
on “Ask HN: Best books you read in 2017?” ↗Anyone here who has not read "The Power of a Positive No" really should get to it. It's about how to say No constantly without being an ass. It's practically tailored around devs negotiating with customers. I the whole world read Ury's "Getting to Yes" trilogy,…
on “Developer productivity: The art of saying no” ↗"The Power of a Positive No" http://www.williamury.com/books/the-power-of-a-positive-no/ They should cover that book in software engineering classes. It's a great way to deal with overwhelming floods of feature requests.
on “Ask HN: Solo founders, what do you struggle with the most?” ↗Read the book "The Power of a Positive No" (from the "Getting to Yes" guy). It's about how to say No all the time without being an asshole. It should be required reading in software engineering classes.
on “Advice to new programmers” ↗