The Gift of Fear
by Gavin de Becker · first published 1997
65% recommend35% neutral
Why HN recommends it
Practical guide to trusting your gut instincts about danger, with insight into how threats and attackers behave, including that most are motivated by a personal connection. Suits anyone worried about personal safety.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
Affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
Related books
I Invented the Modern Age
Richard Snow
Recommended by 2 · mentioned by 22 recommend · 2 mention2 recommend · 22 recommend
2008–2021Buffett
Roger Lowenstein
Recommended by 10 · mentioned by 1210 recommend · 12 mention10 recommend · 1210 recommend
2009–2022Freedom from the Known
Jiddu Krishnamurti
Recommended by 14 · mentioned by 1814 recommend · 18 mention14 recommend · 1814 recommend
2009–2024Philosophy in the flesh
George Lakoff
Recommended by 14 · mentioned by 2014 recommend · 20 mention14 recommend · 2014 recommend
2015–2026The One Thing
Gary Keller, Jay Papasan
Recommended by 15 · mentioned by 2515 recommend · 25 mention15 recommend · 2515 recommend
2010–2025How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Dale Carnegie, Kaneiji Dale
Recommended by 28 · mentioned by 3428 recommend · 34 mention28 recommend · 3428 recommend
2009–2026Metaphors We Live By
George Lakoff, Mark Johnson, Lakoff
Recommended by 56 · mentioned by 8156 recommend · 81 mention56 recommend · 8156 recommend
2007–2026Titan
Ron Chernow
Recommended by 19 · mentioned by 2619 recommend · 26 mention19 recommend · 2619 recommend
> Use common sense Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. Highly recommend it for anyone who wants to know more about how to protect yourself. tldr: Trust your instincts. They have been honed by many, many iterations. http://tgace.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/the-gift-of-fear/…
A security professional once recommended Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear" [1] to me as a source of excellent information to always have in mind. One of de Becker's insight is exactly what you say here -- that most potential attackers are motivated by a personal connection,…
on “Meeting A Troll” ↗Here are mine: - "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene - "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker - "Left of Bang" by Patrick van Horne and Jason Riley - "Influence" and its follow-up "Pre-suasion" by Robert Cialdini - "Courage is Calling" by Ryan Holiday (yes it was published…
on “Ask HN: Life Changing Books?” ↗The actress you're thinking of is probably Rebecca Schaeffer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_Schaeffer I read about her in Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear, which incidentally is a pretty good book about such things. (de Becker is apparently the guy you call if you're a Hollywood star who gets a death threat -- protecting famous people is his company's business.…
on “Some things need to change” ↗One of the many interesting tidbits in The Gift of Fear (an interesting book, simultaneously a sensational true-crime bestseller and the words of a domain expert): When you need help, approach someone in a crowd and ask. Don't wait for someone to approach…
on “Parenting in the age of Paranoia: A Small Manifesto” ↗…http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1276882 Start asking smart questions: http://catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html Read "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell, discover that most of your thinking goes on without you trying at all. Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker, our emotional responses to our world can be sources of surprisingly accurate insight. Develop the ability to create complete silence in your mind, no chit-chatter. Creativity is…
on “What scientific concept would improve everybody's cognitive toolkit?” ↗If anyone here is concerned that someone in their life might be a danger to them, I would encourage them to read 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin de Becker: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440226198
on “"I Will Ruin Him" – How it feels to be stalked” ↗The first recommended read at the end of the Harris article, _The Gift of Fear_ by Gavin de Becker, agrees generally with Harris but offers a more nuanced approach. He says to trust your gut. Occasionally cooperating does work. Standing up can also get you out of a pickle. But if…
on “Gaspard, the anti-assault accessory: never be alone again” ↗The Gift of Fear (Gavin Debecker) - how to deal with bad people The War against Women (Marilyn French) - the underlying premise is wrong, but reading it is a good way to learn how to deal with semi-rational, but insane…
on “Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?” ↗The Gift of Fear is all about listening to your "gut". We have a very highly evolved ability to take in the high bandwidth data from our environment and decide "danger", but living in large anonymous social groups can…
on “Worst Roommate Ever” ↗When I Say No I Feel Guilty. Never Split The Difference. The Gift of Fear. Those 3.
on “Ask HN: What's the "best" book you've ever read?” ↗…Scientific Underworld Inside Scientology: The Story of America's Most Secretive Religion The irregulars : Roald Dahl and the British spy ring in wartime Washington Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing The Gift of Fear
on “Ask HN: What are your favorite non-fiction books of all time?” ↗…with care, engage them and it can lead to murder. Gavin De Becker spent his entire career (30 years ) dealing with this kind of thing, protecting clients/celebrities from all kinds of psychos. "The Gift of Fear". https://www.gavindebecker.com/resources/books_by_gavin_de_be...
on “Ex-girlfriend exacts revenge through Google Images” ↗What's unfair about that reaction? edit: I'm legitimately asking. One of the things which stuck with me after reading "The Gift of Fear" is that people rarely get 'weird feelings' for no reason. If you're not interacting with somebody and they're still creeping you out, that's a sign that something is wrong. Pay attention to that feeling…
on “On the Nature of Creepiness [pdf]” ↗…people we know well and trust is what's "natural" and yields benefits; being constantly surrounded by strangers has to be stressful for us. Wether consciously or intuitively (See the excellent book "The Gift of Fear" for more), we are constantly scanning our surroundings for potential threats. That, and a lack of accountability for how one treats their "neighbours", presents problems that can place a tremendous…
on “There Have Always Existed People Who’ve Simply Wanted to Be Alone” ↗