The Five Love Languages
by Gary D. Chapman · first published 1992
55% recommend36% neutral9% critical
Why HN recommends it
Offers a simple framework for how people give and receive affection, helping couples talk about needs they might otherwise miss. Suited to anyone in a relationship or planning marriage.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
Being single or married has nothing to do with whether you need to feel loved! Everyone has a God-given desire for complete and unconditional love in all relationships. Originally written for couples, bestselling The Five Love Languages continues to revolutionize relationships. In The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, Dr. Gary Chapman adapts this powerful message to the unique needs of single adults. Understanding and applying the five love languages will enhance all relationships. Whether it's parents, coworkers, classmates, roommates, siblings, dating partners, or friends, The Five Love L
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…balance needs to be readjusted and brought back to an acceptable equilibrium. However, the frustration often comes from not conveying my love for her in a way she recognizes and receives it. The book The Five Love Languages[1], by Gary Chapman, opened my eyes to this. I'd recommend it to everyone. The premise of the book is that we all have unique preferences for what we find satisfying when it comes to love. Your love language…
on “Ask HN: Work/life balance – Significant other complains you work too much?” ↗Negotiating the Non-Negotiable, Dan Shapiro Works Well With Others, Ross McCammon The Art of Asking, Amanda Palmer The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman Boss Life: Surviving My Own Small Business, Paul Downs I've been working on my "soft skills".
If you haven't read "The Five Love Languages" yet and are in a relationship, then I highly suggest you do. It might save it before it's too late. And just to make this slightly more startup-related as well: as team members, we also have "love languages",…
on “A dirty dish by the sink can be a big marriage problem” ↗…business. Non-entrepreneur stakeholders are not the only people in the average bootstrapper's life who need to understand that.) Generic book recommendation for improving marital communication: the Five Love Languages.
on “Ask HN: (married founders): How did you save your marriage?” ↗While I think you can fall in love with anyone, to actually stay in love you'll need to follow the concepts found in books like "The Five Love Languages" and "His Needs, Her Needs".
on “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This” ↗Stop, right now (okay when you can) and go read the "Five Love Languages". You'll have a much better marriage for it.
on “Jane Carlyle survived a miserable marriage by satirizing it” ↗That's great to hear. Ever read the books *The Five Love Languages" or even "His Needs, Her Needs". They were very helpful to me.
on “Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?” ↗This is a really important moment in your life. You're on the right track asking questions about it. I do have some actionable steps you can take. 1. Please, please read the book "The Five Love Languages". Don't say another word to her until you have this short book in your head. It will explain, right away, the things you need from your wife to feel loved and happy with her. You have noticed resentment…
on “Ask HN: Advice for husband struggling with 2-career marriage?” ↗Please read the book, "The Five Love Languages" so that you understand how real love works. You may not actually be in love. This should give you relief about what to do. You don't "have" to react to your feelings because you're feelings may actually…
on “Ask HN: I'm falling in love with my already involved cofounder,what should I do?” ↗If you have not already, please read the "Five Love Languages" book. If you like to read, you can also add "His Needs Her Needs" to the list. The Lord Jesus used those books to save my marriage and change my life for the better. Your future happiness awaits you.
on “Summer Vacations Can Lead to Divorce” ↗The book, "The Five Love Languages" answers the question extremely well. Anyone planning to get married should consider it mandatory reading.
on “How to Say “I Love You” When the Language Doesn’t Exist” ↗The book "The Five Love Languages" really helped my marriage.
on “What makes for a stable marriage?” ↗…breaks down how and why those four groups respond to things. This has been hugely helpful in my professional as well as personal life. Another example of this sort of personality categorization is "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman which breaks down how people share and receive intimacy, which breaks down common things like why some women don't care about getting flowers but for others it's crucially important,…
on “How is the internet still obsessed with Myers-Briggs?” ↗"The Five Love Languages" is literally trademarked. It's a framework that's designed to sound plausible, like a horoscope. It's not designed to be accurate, it's designed to make you go, "oooooh" and repeat the trademark. "Having…
on “The Problem of Marital Loneliness” ↗One thing that helps me is knowing that these people are Quality Time (according to the Five Love Languages book). Don't confuse Quality Conversation with Time. The best way to stop them is to identify the time that has gone by. I don't have perfect method yet.
on “Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming” ↗