Verbal judo
by George J. Thompson · first published 1983
4mentions
2recommended by
2HN commenters
2021–2022first – last mentioned
100% recommend
Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour. Verbal judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.
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…acknowledge and take into account people's legitimate grievances and understand why, even when you know your argument to be truthful and benevolent, you get rejected out of hand. My thoughts often turn to the Verbal Judo work of Dr. George Thompson, about letting people have ground to stand on, separating the defensive venting from the objectives you want to achieve. Don't set out to win an argument - keep the other person's…
on “Study conspiracy theories with compassion” ↗Verbal Judo by George J. Thompson and Jerry B. Jenkins. Excellent at teaching how to understand a situation and diffuse conflict. How to employ empathy (not necessarily sympathy). Even how to talk to customer service…
on “Ask HN: Books for Effective Communication” ↗…"street epistemology" (in that it gets down to the more important human truths rather than theoretical relativism about unfalsifiable "experiences" or a pissing contest about "facts"), is George Thompson's "verbal judo" which is predicated on the leverage of respecting the other person's "ego ground to stand on". Sure, the aim is to move the opponents position, but also to both walk away with a win-win outcome.
on “Learn Street Epistemology to Deal with Difficult People at Work” ↗…the corporations are their own worst enemy. They will destroy the foundation on which they're built. Like a child that needs guidance, organisations like IETF act as a parent to stop cannibalism. Or, as verbal-judo proponent George Thompson said... "to help you make the best decisions for yourself now, that you would make if you were thinking clearly in some future frame of regret."
on “IETF Draft: Centralization, Decentralization, and Internet Standards” ↗