The Gifts of Imperfection
by Brené Brown · first published 2010
88% recommend13% neutral
Why HN recommends it
Practical, research-based guidance on shame, perfectionism and self-worth; praised for reframing imposter feelings and encouraging self-acceptance. Suits readers who want self-help without pseudo-spiritual talk.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
A deep book about Courage, Compassion and Connection; these are decisions (mind sets) to lead our way to being wholehearted, to loving ourselves and others. We can not give what we do not have. Real authenticity and love come from within. The journey requires us to get deliberate through deep meditation and prayer, get inspired to make new and different choses in our lives and finally to get going, take action and make each day a new beginning.
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I found reading The Gifts of Imperfection (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4KQI11), by Brene Brown, really helped reframe "imposter syndrome" for me. “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief…
on “Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?” ↗…"The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss" by Sandra Marinella * "Writing Hard Stories: Celebrated Memoirists Who Shaped Art from Trauma" by Melanie Brooks * "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown * "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené…
on “Let’s avoid talk of ‘chemical imbalance’: it’s people in distress” ↗…our level of productivity -- spending time doing purposeless activities is rare. In fact, for many of us it sounds like an anxiety attack waiting to happen. That's from Guidepost #7 of Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection. That chapter is subtitled Letting Go of Exhaustion As A Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth. The previous chapter on cultivating creativity is also worth a read.
on “Why Sometimes I Hate Myself” ↗…off of social media, but try appreciating all the things you do well and find things you like about yourself. Lastly, I'm not too big into self-help books, but if there's one that's helped me it's The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. The gist is start loving yourself for who you are, recognize that you are enough, and understand the difference between shame and guilt (and why guilt is ok but shame is bad).
on “Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?” ↗…night and day, to make you everybody but yourself – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight – and never stop fighting.” –EE Cummings With an assist from Brené Brown and _The Gifts of Imperfection_
on “Bored Lonely Angry Stupid” ↗I was recommended "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown for this problem. As self-help books go it's decidedly light on woo.
on “Ask HN: How to deal with All-or-nothing mindset?” ↗…you're struggling, I encourage you to talk to someone -- preferably a therapist, but anyone supportive works like a friend or family. If you're adamant about not talking to someone, consider reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.
on “Flunking my Anthropic interview again” ↗…Definitely gonna check out the whole book. Another book that sounds similar is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S). I don't know exactly how it compares to The Gifts of Imperfection as I haven't read the latter. The former talks about how you aren't as special as you have been told and how that's not only perfectly okay, but really freeing. You learn to forgive yourself once you…
on “Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?” ↗