Self-Made Man
by Norah Vincent · first published 2006
47% recommend53% neutral
Why HN recommends it
Thoughtful exploration of masculinity and the culture of manhood, told through a journalist's year living disguised as a man; praised as an interesting, balanced read for anyone curious about gender dynamics.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
A journalist's provocative and spellbinding account of her eighteen months spent disguised as a manNorah Vincent became an instant media sensation with the publication of Self-Made Man, her take on just how hard it is to be a man, even in a man's world. Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me), Norah spent a year and a half disguised as her male alter ego, Ned, exploring what men are like when women aren't around. As Ned, she joins a bowling team, takes a high-octane sales job, goes on dates with women (and men), visits strip clubs, and even manages to infiltrate a mon
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…and polite conversation. [He's Just Not That Into You] - Manual for women on how to tell if a guy doesn't care about them. Useful for learning about behaviors to avoid and their underlying reasons. [Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back] - Can't recommend this one enough. Norah Vincent lived for a year as a man, and reports back on the challenges and successes she had. Invaluable for understanding…
on “Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?” ↗…commodity. If you want a "close" approximation of figuring out what it's like to be the other gender in a "x dominated field", you should go the route of the author of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Journey-Manhood/d... She did a remarkable job of actually experiencing what being a man in our society is like. I would be very interested if someone of the male sex were to do something similar…
on “Men In Tech” ↗Thanks, I've been looking for reading on this topic. (Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent is also excellent - one woman's experiences disguised as a man. Sounds potentially lightweight or biased, is neither.)
on “I understood gender discrimination once I added “Mr.” to my resume” ↗…(thankfully I read this as a kid when I had more time) * Thinking, Fast and Slow * How to Win Friends and Influence People * David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants * Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man * The Martian: A Novel * How to Break a Terrorist: The U.S. Interrogators Who Used Brains, Not Brutality, to Take Down the Deadliest Man in Iraq * Gang Leader for…
on “Ask HN: Which book are you reading these days?” ↗> I'm not saying that it isn't better for the actual people/relationship to have the first encounter be in person, I just feel like a lot of people like online dating for that exact purpose Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038702/ ) has quite a few interesting things to say. Relevant here are the author's observations on dating: she writes that she expected…
on “SingleSpot: meet singles in bars and cafés around you” ↗Do yourself a favor and read "Self-Made Man". It's obvious you're only seeing this from one side of the coin and lack the perspective of the other side in some kind of crusade. Both sexes have their problems and the status quo causes stigmas for…
on “Why are sex workers forced to wear a financial scarlet letter?” ↗I liked Self-Made Man-- really interesting exploration of masculinity and the culture of "manhood" in general. It would have been especially interesting if somehow Vincent could have stayed in her old sort of rarefied world…
on “Racism and Meritocracy” ↗Norah Vincent in Self-made Man describes her experiences dating women (while pretending to be a man). She observes that, in person, they tend to reject her for not being masculine enough. But she has far more success than most men…
on “Disintermediating friends: Online dating displaces other ways of meeting (2019) [pdf]” ↗In Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038702/ ), one aspect of male life the author explores is wooing and dating. Her initial expectation is that, with her inside understanding…
on “Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed” ↗Norah Vincent's book _Self-Made Man_ discusses these issues. In it, Vincent spends a couple months dressing and acting like a man, and she goes around living life as a "man": i.e. she makes male friends, goes on dates, and so forth. The…
on “Getting rejected” ↗Self-Made Man is a tale similar to Black Like Me, where it was a writer's experiment, rather than a transgender exercise. http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Journey-Manhood/d... There are also a lot of interesting…
on “Racism and Meritocracy” ↗https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/d... Based on this cover, I would have thought it was a very gender neutral looking person, and probably a lot less masculine if she wasn't frowning like that. But yeah, there's…
on “Disintermediating friends: Online dating displaces other ways of meeting (2019) [pdf]” ↗…pretty big point: That point being, that you can actually change your presentation of gender with relative ease. Norah Vincent did it (dressed as and pretended to be a man) for a year and wrote the book Self Made Man about her experience. The fact that the majority of people never change their presentation of gender and those who do change their presentation tend to feel strongly about it, says that there's more complexity…
on “A backlash against gender ideology is starting in universities” ↗This isn't even new, what is surprising is how society refuses to listen to Men. In 2006 Norah Vincent a woman, pretended to be a man for 12 months and wrote a book about her experience called Self Made Man, see some interviews about the book[1][2] The mental strain of maintaining a false identity during the making of Self-Made Man ultimately caused a depressive breakdown, leading Vincent to admit herself…
on “Ignoring Boys' Emotional Needs Fuels Public Health Risks” ↗So weird. Would make an interesting novel, I guess? Reminds me https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29434.Self_Made_Man, where a woman journalist spent a year pretending to be a man to write about it afterward. Hell, I did that in a MMO and nobody cared, lol.
on “Developer Conference Canceled, After Backlash Over Fake Female Speakers” ↗