Passages
predictable crises of adult life
by Gail Sheehy · first published 1976
7mentions
3recommended by
4HN commenters
2013–2024first – last mentioned
75% recommend25% neutral
Identifies patterns of age-related change and compares the developmental rhythms of men and women, deepening understanding of the stresses experienced by couples during the various stages of adult life.
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…self-esteem. It's what's telling you that there can't be anybody else after her. But yes there can. Read up on some books regarding how couples split up. A good one for me (but 30 years ago) was a book called 'Passages' by Gail Sheehy, which explained what mental and emotional changes occur in people as they get older and go through the various stepping-stones of life. I was able to see why my wife left me too. And…
on “Ask HN: How does one move on after a divorce?” ↗Read Gail Sheehy's Passages. It talks about the different phases of life - life in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s etc. Without that reference, when there's unease it's hard to know what's "you" and what's "just being human". I certainly…
on “Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?” ↗Read Passages by Gail Sheehy. Was close pre-teen, while a goody two-shoes, I pushed them away a bit teen years (most of which were spent away at school). Got rather frustrated with them early working/married years…
on “Ask HN: How's your relationship with your parent(s)?” ↗Read Sheehy's Passages. This has a complex answer that seems well-addressed in the comments: 0-10, parents usually cool, 11-22, parents usually annoying as hell, 23-40, broad range of feelings towards parents, 50-60, (re)appreciate…
There is this book https://www.amazon.com/Passages-Predictable-Crises-Adult-Lif... which factually points out that most people go through several crises in their adult life. As a rule of thumb you have one every seven years or so. I had one around…
on “Never waste your midlife crisis” ↗I mis-remembered: The Book was titled "Passages" by Gail Sheehy. And my confusing typo above was supposed be "I'm not sure" instead of "I'm so sure"
on “Ask HN: Ego Death” ↗Overall people have a crisis every 7 years or so in their adult life. Gail Sheehy talked about a "Catch 30" in the book "Passages" and my friends who believe in Astrology believe there a "Saturn Return" between the 20's and 30's.
on “No Company For Old Programmers” ↗