Hunt, Gather, Parent
by Michaeleen Doucleff · first published 2021
60% recommend33% neutral7% critical
Why HN recommends it
Anecdotes from traditional cultures paired with some psychology on why their child-rearing approaches may work; readers say it shifted how they parent, especially around autonomy and letting kids take part in daily life.
Summarised by Claude from recommending comments
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- Ballou, Brendan. Plunder: Private Equity's Plan to Pillage America. - Smil, Vaclav. How the World Really Works: The Science Behind How We Got Here and Where We're Going. - Doucleff, Michaeleen. Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans.
on “Ask HN: Books you read in 2023 and recommend for 2024” ↗For another perspective, see Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff. She looked at indigenous cultures alive today and makes the compelling argument that the Western boomers were the outlier - not their kids. 'Free range' meant having no meaningful…
on “The quiet disappearance of the free-range childhood” ↗…Road by Felix Dennis (it's okay) - Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki (success) - Вишнёвый Сад Чехов Антон Павлович (did not like it at all) - Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift (liked it) - Hunt, Gather, Parent Michaeleen Doucleff (this book is a game changer, strong recommend for every parent) - MAKE by Pieter Levels - Main Street Millionaire by Codie Sanchez - Start Small, Stay Small by Rob Walling - The…
on “Ask HN: What did you read in 2025?” ↗The book Hunt, Gather, Parent looks at the Inuit and several other cultures. The findings are very consistent with this article. The book gives a lot more detailed information and a lot of examples and ideas about incorporating these…
on “Arctic 'Survival Parenting'” ↗To figure out what has worked univerally for kids, I recommend the book Hunt, Gather, Parent. However, there is a gap between applying what worked universally for thousands of years to our modern world. I think the linked article is a nice attempt at bringing universals of autonomy and intrinsic…
on “I write a parenting advice column (or how I became famous in my neighborhood)” ↗…sample of the author’s book on her experience learning and applying non-western parenting approaches from traditional cultures, which is well worth reading (or listening to on Audible). The book is titled: Hunt, Gather, Parent but she actually only visits one hunter gatherer group.
on “How to get kids to do chores: Does the Maya method work? (2018)” ↗The author of the article has a full blown book on the subject: Hunt, Gather, Parent. It’s a mix of anecdotes and some of the psychology of why this approach appears to work. My wife and I enjoyed it quite a bit.
on “How to get kids to do chores: Does the Maya method work? (2018)” ↗…RIE [1]. You can look for your old podcasts by Janet Lansbury who articulates this approach well. For an older age, the book “how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk” is a classic. “Hunt, Gather, Parent” is also a great book for understanding this and some other important concepts in a larger cultural context. [1] https://rie.org/
on “Ask HN: What's your approach to raising kids?” ↗I think it's almost unfathomable for us to imagine how far we are from a "traditional" homosapien life. I read a book called "Hunt, Gather, Parent" where they describe the life of multiple 'less developed' societies, and how they spent a large portion of their life interacting with babies, adolescents, older children, pregnant relations. It's a…
on “Many women struggle to breastfeed. Scientists are starting to ask why” ↗…salary for most HN readers. Our friends that try to act rich have much higher costs. I assume that is where your cited number got so inflated. Re. Parenting Industry: there's an excellent book called Hunt, Gather, Parent - which examines how traditional cultures raised children. Parenting isn't complicated, but modern marketing has completely muddied the waters.
on “1 in 5 adults don’t want children –– and they don’t regret it later” ↗…younger one. Magna-tiles have been a big hit for both from about 2yo and on. Lots of knockoffs on Amazon, but we haven't had any issues with the 2 sets we purchased. For books I really connected with "Hunt Gather Parent". Aside from that, I'd say top thing is patience and sometimes just being quiet and not interfering when they're playing.
on “Ask HN: What were the top things you did or purchased for your baby/toddler?” ↗I used to think this is where I am heading, until reading “Hunt, Gather, Parent”, and realizing that being a good parent does not mean my existence as an individual needs to stop. Me and my kids can co-exist. I just need to let go of controlling their lives.
on “Tokyo is set to introduce a four-day workweek for government employees” ↗While difficult, it's often possible to teach children to be content on their own, or playing nearby, at least for longer stretches. The book Hunt, Gather, Parent helped me improve a lot as a parent. First step was not reacting when a spill or mistake or misbehavior happened, just staying super chill and calm. Maybe ignoring or at most shooting a single "look"…
on “Ask HN: What's Your Morning Routine?” ↗text-only version of the article: https://text.npr.org/685533353 One of the authors, Michaeleen Doucleff, also wrote a book called Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. It's interesting, and has some useful points to think about while parenting. However, I felt that a lot…
on “How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)” ↗…societies tend to be smaller groups where everyone in the village helps with childcare, so if a parent was out of action for a while the children could still be gathered. This is covered in the book Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, specifically with the Hadzabe people (Tanzania).
on “The past was not that cute” ↗